What many of us label as love is often just a spark of the familiar or perhaps a connection. Sometimes the familiar is positive — feeling cared for, safe, supported — and sometimes it is merely a replication of negative emotions we grew used to when we were young, including sacrificing ourselves, emotional chaos, or financial support.
Because we’re conditioned by society to believe that the ultimate love is a romantic relationship – one where we share both an emotional and physical bond – sometimes we interpret the purpose of a relationship incorrectly.
The most important thing for any relationship is the room to breathe. Space offers the chance to see clearly its purpose in our soul growth. This can be difficult, especially during February, when everywhere you look, you see the message of romance.
If you’re feeling truly loved in your relationship, allow the words below to serve as a touchstone for moments where things feel off track. If you’re questioning your relationship, perhaps they can offer a path to return to true love.
Love is Not: Compromise
I once heard Hillary Clinton interviewed by Julia Roberts, who asked her what kind of compromises she’d made when Chelsea was born. Her answer changed my perception of the word “compromise.”
“Compromise implies somebody has to give in. Or lose something. I prefer to use the word ‘adjustment’ because when something wonderful comes into your life, you’re willing to adjust to make room for it.”
This one little shift in perspective can make all the difference in the world. Love is not compromise. When the person with whom you share a relationship brings joy and light to your life, you make adjustments to make room for it.
Love is Not: Forever
The word Forever is everywhere in association with “love.” From a soul perspective, it is forever: A peek into your Akashic Records will show you that. Your soul group has been together since the dawn of time, committed to providing the lessons and love you need to reach your full potential.
From an earthly perspective, when you pledge forever, the implication is that the relationship – in its current form – is forever. Is that really a promise you can make with the divorce rate in the US closing in on 50%? Your soul family may always be here to support you but your soul contracts are not always written to last a life. We are complex souls with numerous plans.
Love may be forever, but many relationships aren’t. Practicing presence within your relationship offers the necessary awareness to understand that love and relationships can be two different things, and provides the courage required if it is time to move on from it.
Love is Not: Unconditional
This is a big one. Many of us believe in the concept of unconditional love and the Akashic Masters want us to know that we are loved without judgment or condition by them and the Universe. It’s common practice here on earth, however, to blur the boundaries between love and a relationship.
Relationships are conditional because they occur between two souls having a human experience, complete with likes, dislikes, expectations and emotions. Here’s where exploring your Akashic Records can really help.
The work helps you to identify past karma or contracts that you have with your partner from other lifetimes. When you do what’s needed to clear them, you’ll often find the “conditions” in your relationship disappear, making room for the unconditional love that is at its core.
Love is Not: Romance
Chocolate and jewelry are nice, but are they the ultimate confirmation of love? I’ve seen many clients over the years allow material things to substitute for what they really want: connection, support, emotional intimacy.
There is nothing wrong with romance. In fact, it can be a fulfilling aspect of a relationship. It’s just important to remember that it isn’t everything or even an accurate way to tell if your relationship is healthy. It’s delightful, but not it’s not the substance our souls desire.
I offer the above not so you judge your relationship because the Akashic Masters always remind us that there is no right or wrong in Divine Love. Rather, I write about these things as a way to support learning and soul growth, to encourage you to ask yourself if you’re feeling truly loved or if your desire for love may be overshadowing reality.
You deserve to feel unconditionally loved. One of the ways you can discover what your relationships are truly offering you is to dig into your Akashic Records. As my Valentine’s gift to you, I have Prayers of Self Love for you to download, because all Love starts with Self.