Why Choosing Between Two Things Isn’t Always the Best Route


From childhood trauma, we are taught to choose. Chocolate or vanilla. The doll or the hula hoop. One or the other. This makes sense from a parental point of view, but it sets us up for a life where that duality feels normal.

 So, when we find ourselves in dissonance – the experience of two opposing thoughts or emotions, the discomfort can drive us to make decisions that aren’t aligned with who we really are or want to be. The Akashic Masters have shared with me that if we truly want to upgrade our lives, we must take on the challenge of sitting in dissonance. 

The resistance to dissonance

I have a friend whose son when he was a toddler, refused to choose between Cap’n Crunch and Frosted Flakes. As his mother, it drove her crazy and it was the cause of many arguments that led to tantrums and meltdowns. Over cereal.

One day, she decided to let him have both in the same bowl even though it was never a choice she’d have made. He couldn’t have been more delighted! As she cleaned up after breakfast, she wondered what had blocked her from seeing the solution. I told her I thought it was our resistance to dissonance, created by being forced to choose one thing or the other instead of waiting for a third option.

Stuck in a loop

Carla and I had worked together several times when she e-mailed me. “I feel trapped,” she wrote. “ Need to make a decision about something, and I have no clarity at all. keep going round and round, stuck in this loop of thought that doesn’t bring me any closer to a decision. Do you think my Akashic Records might be able to help?”

I told her I thought it was worth a try and that I was confident she would benefit in some way. The day of our appointment she admitted she felt anxious. “I just don’t understand why I can’t seem to make up my mind,” she said. “It’s not really like me.”

Valuable information comes from the Akashic Records

After settling in, we opened her Akashic Records to a life where she was a wealthy woman who often hosted lavish events for other women in the community. She would include live music or a well-known author reading from their latest book, and her parties were very popular.

In the glimpse we were given, she had planned a quiet tea with a few close friends as a thank-you for their help with a fundraiser she’d had. She soon discovered someone else in their social circle had gotten wind of it when she ran into this woman at a shop. “I’m so looking forward to your tea,” she exclaimed to a surprised Carla. 

It threw her into a loop of anger at this woman’s audacity to invite herself, fear of hurting the woman’s feelings if she told her she wasn’t welcome, and trepidation about how the woman might gossip if she told her it was a private event.

In the end, Carla decided to stay quiet and let the woman attend although she resented it the entire time. She was so distracted by the thoughts and feelings running through her mind, she couldn’t really enjoy the company of the two women she had initially invited. The last thing we experienced was Carla sitting alone, filled with regret and sadness.

The parallels with past lives

“I can’t believe this,” Carla said when we had closed her Akashic Records. “This is almost the exact same situation I am in now.” She shared that after a delightful time at the local museum with two friends she knew from a book club, she had e-mailed them to invite them to lunch. “They paid for the museum tickets,” she said. “And I really wanted to thank them.”

In responding to their group e-mail, one of her friends accidentally included another woman from the book club, and the next thing Carla knew, this person had invited herself along. “I cannot believe how eerily similar this is to that lifetime,” she exclaimed. “Why is this happening again?”

We prayed for her to be release from this karmic trauma pattern. To be free from what had happen in that life so she could make a decision in this one that truly reflected who she knew herself to be. And we talked about the dissonance – let this other woman come and feel resentful or let her know she wasn’t welcome and risk hurting her feelings. 

While talking further about the experience we saw in her Akashic Records. Carla realized that the emotions causing the dissonance were red herrings of a sort. Preventing her from seeing what was really happening.

“The truth is, I have a hard time speaking up for what really matters to me,” she admitted. “And I have a right to have the kind of experience I want.”

She reached out the following week with an update. “I called the woman who invited herself and told her the truth. That this was a thank you luncheon and that perhaps we could all get together at another time.” It felt uncomfortable to Carla because she’d never put herself first like this. But because she had the courage to sit in the unknown. Even though it didn’t feel good, she was led to find the answer in her Akashic Records.

There is so much emotional pain we carry with us and the Akashic Masters want to help you release it. If you’ve resonated with any of Carla’s stories, why not take my free Healing Trauma quiz and look into my Healing Pain & Trauma Program:

Read More:  Healing Emotional Pain Trauma 

The goal is to be free of what prevents you from upgrading your life to the one you want. So if a private session feels better to you, please reach out to schedule time together. You are worth it! 

Until next time,


Mother, Father, Goddess, God, I stand in your Grace,  

clear and strong, yet humble and full of love.  

Please assist me in finding, seeing, and taking the next step on my Soul Path.  

I ask for guidance in baby steps and large steps, too. 

live in self-trust, self-worth, and faith.  

I have what I need to do my soul work. 

So it is. Blessed Be.

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